I HATED YOU

The concept of love
Was new to me
It went from being safe and protected
To heated and reckless
Belittled and beloved
A little air...That's all
To breath was so rare
Always so nervous when you're there
My hair ...My nails...My flare
Not to be the reason that you wander
To that which I felt was better
At least at the time.

We held it together by a string
One foot in, one foot out
That was you
On the look out for newer ...And shinier
I knew this and gave you everything still
My best is what I thought you needed
The boy I met with arms pleading
How far you'd fallen
How far I'd let it drift

Her hair was fake
Her legs were fat
Her neck was too thin
And her face too long
This is what you wanted instead ?
The closest she'd been to a book
Was the page flip she saw
On her way to the salon
Lips lit pink
Like gum stuck in my shoe
I was miles away
And she was here to stay

Feeling insecure
Weak and immature
My eyes turning green from jealousy
Telling me...That my doors are closing
So I try to keep them open
Keep my spirit flowing...Knowing
The competition I am fearing,
Does not exist
And the opposition I am feeling,
Will not persist
Once I understand that your power won't diminish mine ,
And that the hate I'm habouring is toxic to my mind

So I, ..Clear my head and heart
Instead of holding on to pain
Once I find my center
I'll begin to flourish once again
Never will I doubt the power
That I hold within
So the King I'll hold my hand out to
Will recognize his queen